|It’s a spessartine garnet in white gold.
Chris and I picked it out and had it made.
I am an engaged woman. Engaged in my job, engaged in life and engaged to my best friend.
Chris proposed on Valentine’s Day this year, two months after the ring was ready. He asked before handing me my morning coffee. He said, “Will you be my Valentine for the rest of my life?” I said of course.
It’s important to note that neither of us likes Valentine’s Day. I’m fairly certain he picked that day because it would be easy to remember. It also makes that day a little more special for both of us.
Just hours after the proposal, people started asking if we’d set a date. I felt pressured, like it was something that was required RIGHTNOW. So we thought we could get married in the fall in Tennessee, on his friend’s property, with everyone staying in tents and us walking down the aisle in a barn. October 2016. But that plan wasn’t meant to be. The property owners weren’t keen on the idea.
Back to square one. And back to no plans. It’s June now, and we have not set a date. I asked to be engaged before I turned 40, and Chris obliged. But that big birthday is a month away, so a pre-40 wedding is not in the cards.
I’m so tired of spam email because I gave David’s Bridal my email address. Just because I’m going to be a bride doesn’t mean I’m going to be that bride. I want the beautiful white dress. And that’s about where my demands end.
I don’t want a fancy ceremony or a church wedding; Chris and I aren’t religious. I have no interest in a cookie cutter reception, with all photo-op activities scheduled for certain times. No grand entrance. No dancing with parents, no cake cutting, and certainly no garter toss. I don’t even want a bouquet, at least not one with dead flowers.
We don’t care about photography. I hate being in photos and Chris just doesn’t care. One less expense. Though many friends and family are fighting us on this one.
All we want, and we both agree on this, is a big party with lots of friends and family. No pressure, all fun.
I don’t even care what Chris wears.
Wait. I do care a little – no flip-flops. Ew. But he doesn’t wear those anyway, so I’m good.
Why can’t we just invite everyone to a garden party, with games galore? Bocce, horseshoes, ladder ball, giant Jenga, etc. No one focusing on the bride and groom, just a lot of people having a great time.
And who needs cake? Okay, I love cake, but that whole tradition of freezing the top layer and saving it for your first anniversary? Gross. No freezer-burnt cake for me.
Yes, we have ideas. But we’re not so focused on it that we forget where we are now.
A wedding is just one day, one we want to enjoy with the people (and maybe the dogs) we love. It won’t define our relationship. How we spend the rest of our life together will.