Dating in Multiples

How do you date more than one person at a time? Sure, I’ve planned a couple of first dates the same week – the same day, even. But those are first dates. Those are the dates spent getting to know someone. You’re just trying to suss out whether that person is good for a second date. THEN you figure out what to do after a third or fourth date.

But how do you date two people regularly, simultaneously? Do they know about each other? Should they? Is it okay to have sex with either of them? Both of them? Do they get set days for dates? If they don’t know about each other, what do you tell that other person about the days you are “unavailable?” Do you just say that you have plans?

What happens when you feel really connected to one, yet the other one seems like he has a lot of potential? Do you end one for the other?

About 10 years ago, I found myself in a similar situation. I was dating one guy, T, who didn’t think the person he was dating should see other people. And I was accidentally dating another guy, G, at the same time. I say accidentally because I thought he and I were just hanging out, while he thought they were dates. I figured it out when he kissed me. I wanted to continue to hang out, but that meant dating G, something T would not approve of. Once while I was visiting T, I got a phone call from G, and I answered it. Why did I do that? I still question it. I kept the call short.

So what do you do? Do you IGNORE the other person you’re dating in favor of the one you’re with. Do you take the phone call even if you are with the other person? Do you text T while you’re with G?

Both dating relationships ended shortly thereafter. T lived two hours away and dating regularly was difficult. And I just wasn’t interested in G.On the plus side, at least I didn’t end up with feelings for both at the same time. Some people do, but what do you do in that case?

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